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Update on the Great

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Update on the Great Handbag Throw-a-way...I participated in #cybermonday for the very first time ever and got 30% off the same black leather bag I had before. It was still available! I felt sad without my trusty tote that had been like a friend to me for over ten years—I've never even been married for that long! Speaking of saving money...I thought we could do a shared gift guide today. If I had my shit together more, I'd have prepared a full gift guide. I do have two hot tips for you, but I want to hear your gift ideas too and bonus if they come with a coupon code! LINK IN BIO to both of mine. Gift #1) The Transport Tote via @madewell 30% off. Use code CLICKCLICK / Link in Bio I can't begin to tell you how durable this tote is...I am extremely hard on things and set my bag down willy nilly at construction sites all over town. Not even a scratch! I don't love the logo, but a black sharpie will fix that. Also, the leather is sourced from a tannery that achieved a Gold Rating from an organization that works to promote sustainable environmental practices in the leather industry. I am not affiliated in any way with this company. Gift #2) The NYTSTND tray via @nytstnd 20% off. Use code HOLIDAYSPIRIT20 / Link in Bio I was recently gifted a beautiful tray that's also a charging station for all my devices. I can't stand cords all over the place or having to keep track of where I left my various chargers. This company cured that. You just set all your stuff on this magical tray and voila! It's brilliant. My tray is shown on Slides 9&10. #nytstnd #lifeuncluttered FULL DISCLOSURE: this brand is giving me a percentage of sales. I will be donating all monies earned to @join_pdx an organization that gets people out of homelessness and into permanent housing. Any hot Cyber Monday gift ideas? Oh, BTW, the images today have nothing to do with this post or gift giving. I figured if I showed you a really cool and insanely beautiful home, you’d read my caption and shower me with ideas for what to get my friends and family this holiday season. 📸: @spacecrafting_photography Designer: @taysandcodesign Build: @weshansonbuilders Architect: @newheritagemn
I saw Trevor Noah on

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I saw Trevor Noah on his "Back to Abnormal" tour last night. Two things would have made it better. 1) If he started his act at 6 pm instead of 9:15 so I wouldn't have fallen asleep and missed the second half. 2) If I wouldn't have been forced to throw my handbag away for being oversized. You heard that right. There was a handbag size restriction and mine exceeded it so in the trash it goes. We ubered so I couldn't just go put it in the car. Couldn't they have just searched my bag and found that its contents consisted of three pairs of reading glasses, my sunglasses, and a wallet, phone, and hotel key? Nope. I had to shove all those items in my coat pockets. I don't know about you, but my pockets are for my hands...never do I put actual items in my pockets. Sitting (and then sleeping) in my seat for three hours with my pockets jammed full of stuff was not comfortable, plus I really missed my black leather tote—we've been through a lot together and now she’s gone. We were friends! 😢 Trevor is a funny dude and his jokes improved my mood until I stood up to leave and my wallet and phone fell out of my pocket and onto the filthy floor. Now I was starting to have a bad time. 😡 I woke up this morning and tried convincing myself that my old black tote can be replaced. It's just a few pieces of leather stitched together and it was pretty worn and dirty from being on job sites. The before and after you're seeing today knew my black tote very well...heavy sigh. 😔 Snap out of it Kami...It's just a bag! (Sometimes I have to call myself out by name.) Maybe in honor of my client's new kitchen I should get a green bag instead. 💚💚💚 DETAILS: Upper Cabinet Color: @sherwinwilliams Pure White Lower Cabinet Color: @benjaminmoore Peale Green Wallpaper: @makelikedesign Roll Right Backsplash Tile: @bedrosianstile Cloe in White Dining Room Light: @schoolhouse Vega in Natural Brass 📸: @kaitlinmgreen_photo
I once got a two-sta

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I once got a two-star review from a VRBO host that said I didn’t follow instructions, specifically the house rule that said, “Do not move furniture, artwork, mirrors, or anything else in the apartment.” They should be thanking me, not making it impossible for me to rent other vacation properties! On a somewhat related topic...Friends, there is a really good chance your artwork, how do I put this delicately, well I'm just gonna say it...the artwork in your home is probably hung too high. You're not a dummy. This is really common. Not to say YOU are common. NO NO NO. You are unique and one-of-a-kind, you just don't know how to hang artwork. No big deal. I didn't know I was using a can opener incorrectly until like six months ago. You don't know what you don't know until you know. Just follow the 57" rule. The average eye level for humans is roughly 57" and that's where the center of your artwork should be. There are exceptions to this like above fireplace mantels and headboards on beds and other considerations, blah, blah, blah. These before and after images of a home I recently designed are a shining example of how to hang artwork properly. The home belongs to my husband's ex-wife and her new husband. When they first sought out my design services, I was a bit nervous and apprehensive to work with them. I got over it. I may have a crappy VRBO rating, but I do have some good qualities like hanging artwork properly, getting over shit, and not letting the past fuck up a seriously great opportunity. (If you're curious where the fridge is...there are two fridge and two freezer drawers under the kitchen window.) 📸: @kaitlinmgreen_photo See link in bio for more photos of home tour 💫💫💫
On our first date, m

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On our first date, my husband walked me to the front door of my condo. Neither of us wanted the date to end. I couldn't invite him in because my daughter was a teenager at the time and meeting Mommy's new "friend" wasn't going to accidentally happen at 1 am. I walked in, snuck my date down the hall and onto the patio, and told him to wait. I did my nightly routine of checking on my girl, turning off lights, and locking doors and met my confused date on the patio. He lived in the same building 3 floors down and was probably wondering why we didn't just go to his condo. Two reasons. I didn't want to be THAT Mom—that leaves her kid alone while she's at some dude's place (although that did happen a few times) and I lived on the penthouse floor. Sprawling penthouse with views of the city or some tiny-ass dark bachelor pad? 🤷‍♀️ My plan was to climb over the railing separating my penthouse from the one next door, which was currently for sale, and finish the date there. This wouldn't be the first time I'd entered the penthouse next to mine. The sliding door was always unlocked and the place was fully furnished. I would hang out there occasionally when my daughter had her friends over. There's literally nothing worse than listening to a gaggle of teenage girls talking about whatever it is they talk about. I'd slip out and enjoy the peace and quiet of my "other" penthouse. I forgot to grab wine and snacks, but that didn't turn out to be a problem. Whomever did the home staging had thought of everything. There on the counter was a box of crackers, a bottle of red wine, and two wine glasses. It was like they left it there, just for us! But first I had to dispose of the gum I was chewing that I’d grabbed at my place thinking it would be a quicker way to fresh breath than brushing my teeth. My husband saw that I was looking for a napkin and he put his hand out. I handed my husband a chewed piece of gum and he took it, set it on the coffee table, and poured me a glass of wine. He's been coming to my rescue ever since. We traded dating and city condo life for married suburban midcentury living and this is our home. Link in bio for full tour. 📸: @kaitlinmgreen_photo
This home tour via @

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This home tour via @project_archipelago is no joke. And speaking of...You know what you're about to be soooooooooo grateful for? My round-up of stupid Thanksgiving Day jokes! I dare you to share these around the dinner table today. I double dare you to declare your favorite joke in the comments section. Mine is 13. So stupid! 🤦‍♀️ 1. What song should you listen to on Thanksgiving? “All About That Baste” 2. What did Dad say when he was asked to say grace? Grace. 3. What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy. 4. With Coronavirus still a hot topic of conversation, what’s likely to be the most popular side dish? Masked potatoes. 5. What’s something usually insulting, but not on Thanksgiving? A family member giving you the bird. 6. If Pilgrims were still alive, what would they be known for? Their age. 7. What sound does a turkey’s phone make? “Wing, wing" 8. What would a turkey be called if it turned into a ghost? Poultrygeist. 9. When is turkey soup bad for your health? When you are the turkey. 10. When do you serve tofu turkey? Pranksgiving. 11. What made the cranberries turn red? They saw the turkey dressing. 12. What did one turkey say to another before a feast? Do you believe in life after Thanksgiving? 13. Why do pilgrims’ pants always fall down? Because they wear their belt buckles on their hats. YOU'RE WELCOME! Happy Thanksgiving! I'm grateful for all of you! ❤️ Kami P.S. If you're up for binge-watching a show over the holiday break, make it Maid on Netflix. 💫💫💫 📸: archmospheres via @dwellmagazine
Dwell magazine has a

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Dwell magazine has a serious love affair going with my hometown of Portland, Oregon. This latest before & after home tour has me remembering that even though our city has had a shitty time lately (link in bio if you're curious what's going on), we have plenty of things to be grateful for and proud of—like the jewel of the urban areas, the Pearl District. Portland is kind of like all of us—we fall down, maybe even go to a bad or dark place, and hopefully make a comeback that's even better than before, but with a stronger foundation. If you've never been in this place, count your blessings. I have and it's, well, hard. My lowest moment was divorcing my children's father. Anything that involves your kiddos is gut-wrenching and makes you feel like the worst human ever even though the situation was not sustainable. You make matters worse by convincing yourself that all the people around you have life figured out—they're not destined to make huge mistakes that negatively impact two adorable toddlers. For me, this miserable, woe is me, shame-filled state of mind would last for quite some time.   Then one Christmas Day, after I took my 9 and 10 year-old kids to the airport to spend the holiday with their Dad in California, I was sobbing in my car and saw a billboard for design school and my heart almost exploded. I instantly thought, "I'm supposed to be a designer!" For a minute, my mind tried its old self-defeating tricks, but my heart told my broken-down brain to shut the hell up and yelled, KAMI!! This is you! Go learn how to be a designer! Instantly, I refused to honor those old feelings of 'I'm not good enough' and 'I suck' and "I'm not destined for greatness' and in time, they ceased to exist. Cliché alert: Listen to your heart. Portland, I'm not divorcing you (although I did move to the burbs ten minutes away), but you need to get your shit together. And I will do my part. —Love, Kami Beautifully-executed before & after of a Pearl District loft via @jhinteriordesign / 📸: @aaronleitz
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